Monday, November 21, 2016

Mirror, Mirror...



I read somewhere that speaking in obscure metaphors makes you sound smarter. So, well...

I think that the function of a race in the life of an amateur athlete is effectively that of a mirror.

When I say that, you may think I’m referring to a mirror's ability to reflect the truth. I’m actually being clever and referring to the exact opposite. A mirror will reflect one’s outlook, more than one’s look. Even the average cave troll sees good things when he stands in front of a mirror with optimism and hope in his malformed heart.  

Either way, I always see a greek god. Go figure.



Race results are reflections of training effort. They are what they are, but we can choose how we see them. In races, with exceptions, most of us step up to the start line knowing that we’re not going to actually win anything, in the generally accepted sense of the word ‘win’.

This puts us at an advantage, because it allows us to define our victories for ourselves. Hell, it allows us to pretty much take obvious, utter disappointment, shrug our shoulders, and shout “Success!”

I like to think that I have, after four years of relentlessly using the above method, become somewhat of an expert at self-delusion.

Yesterday, I ran the Airtel Delhi Half Marathon in a time of 01:23:55.

On the plus side, unless my math is wrong (as it often is), this is 01 minute and 44 seconds faster than my previous personal best of 01:25:39.

On the other hand...I am also aware that this is 03 minutes and 55 seconds slower than my preposterous primary goal of 1:20:00, besides being 02 minutes and 04 seconds slower than Ms Nell McAndrew’s time over the same distance. I am aware that I may be quite close to the last PR I will ever clock. Progressively faster race times have been coming to me with happy regularity so far, but this, too, shall pass. I am aware that I was unable to summon the resolve to train as well as I wanted to, this time.

Still, I call it a resounding win. It’s not, I know! It’s ambiguous at best. But good luck trying to sell me on that :P

What I choose to see, is that I ran my heart out.

That I ran among good people.

That I ran in a city that looked beautiful in the morning, on a road that felt like a friend. 

That I asked my body for more, and it gave me more than I asked for.

That there was flow and pain and joy and rage and doubt and euphoria.

And that, at the end, I felt like a goddamn prince.

If you choose, that is what victory will look like, no matter what the numbers on the clock say.

21 comments:

  1. Great read.
    KeepInspiring with your strong running Shiv. God bless.

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  2. Beautifully penned as usual.
    "A mirror will reflect one’s outlook, more than one’s look. Even the average cave troll sees good things when he stands in front of a mirror with optimism and hope in his malformed heart"
    what a presentation.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Pankaj. Best wishes to all your Gazelles :)

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  3. Agree with every word! It's always 'my' victory and joy - as I define it.
    At times, I have had to hold off other people who begin judge my performance ...
    Like you said, I will choose what I see...

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading, Garima. All the best for your runs ahead :)

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  4. Keep chasing Nell Dude... Congratulations for your PB!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, buddy. 8 weeks to go for SCMM! Keep at it :D

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  5. Hell,
    Now you have put me in a serious quandary: Are you a better runner, or a slick writer, or vice-versa...

    The only way you may be able to resolve this for me though, is tell me what your mirror tells you...

    Go Figure..

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  6. Happy read this one! And how can you, Ms. Neil, or anyone in their right 'right' brain not feel ecstatic about a 01:23:55 HM? Heartiest Congratulations!
    May you continued to inspire us all!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks man. We're distance runners. We're not in our 'right brain' by definition :D

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  7. Are you a writer
    Are you a Lyricist
    Are you a runner

    You truly are in an inspiration. Well Written Shiv

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  8. Wow! You express yourself in words as well as you run

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Vishesh. Good to see you at the stadium.

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  9. I so wish I could take it as simple as it has been written. But somehow this ADHM I resolved not to look into the mirror for I knew what it will look like already.
    But yes the last part I did fail to enjoy my adhm run for the first time in all these 4 years of running. Thanks for the insight.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading, Vinita. Some runs you enjoy, some you don't. C'est la vie...
      ...there's always another race :)

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  10. Superbly said! ....Surely Nell will be as impressed as we are..:))

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