Sunday, December 25, 2016

The Long Run Anthem.

Yo DJ.
Drop that beat now.

Doomchickachickadoom
Doomchickadoom

Y’all ready to cringe?
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THE LONG RUN ANTHEM. 


Christmas morning, I step out,
Wearing just my sexy pout,
(Also shoes, and shorts, and hat)
To put the Tiger in the Cat
The second mile is fun, and how!
In this mile I chase a cow.
At Mile 4, some dogs chase me,
There are many dogs (Well...three)
There ain’t much to see in 6,
Except this ugly pile of bricks.
8 Mile, I pause and think, “Ahem!
I’ll make like rapper Eminem,
As I run, to pass the time, 
I will make a horrid rhyme.”
Then, Mile 10, I turn around,
Out-and-back, so homeward bound.
12 and 13 really suck,
And I swear it’s cold as...um... a frozen duck.
When I reach Mile ten-plus-four,
Everybody walk the dinosaur,
16 went by, really slow,
By now, I was hungry, bro,
18, 19 come and go,
I’m like, “Gosh darn it! One mo’!”
20 miles in snow and slush,
All my muscles turned to mush,
Happily I stagger home,
To show for it, I have this...pome.

*Crowd goes wild.